7:10 p.m. - 2003-05-22

listening to: Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

i really don't see (hear)what all the "hype" is about... anyhow.

I'M ALL ALONE! Pat left yesterday for Vancouver, and Veronica leaves tomorrow for Vancouver which = both (um, all)of my friends GONE! which in turn = me alone for the weekend. plus MOnday. I had a small (hysterical)breakdown last night while watching American Idol because it's so NOT fun watching it alone. Plus, if I wasn't alone, I probably wouldn't be watching american idol, you know? (yay Rueben!)fuuucccckkkk. so i popped a couple benzodiazepines and went to sleep. woke up cranky and went to work. got attacked in the parking lot by an angry customer who gave me a lashing over the telephone the previous day, her name is Dorothy. She followed me in, complaining and apologizing complaining and apologizing, and my fuse ran short. then i had to go for computer training at the new office. it made me angry. jason picked me up from there which was a nice surprise because he's really handsome if only he'd never speak. then I came hear, and Chris went and bought me a double decker ice cream cone which drastically improved my mood.

It is amazing to me how pathetic I am - I hate being alone... Remember last summer how when I got dumped i turned into such a mess? I got hammered every single night and was addicted to sleeping pills for a good 2 months. And either Jill or Andrea would sleep in my bed with me, every night.And Holly or Veronica would take away/hide the sleeping pills, but I'd just run to safeway and buy more... what good friends I had in the summer. Im not so sure of my friendships these days, except for Veronica. she is mine until the end, and that will remain the same.

SPEAKING OF VERONICA she just called! we're going out for beer after work! just what i need. she's the greatest, that Veronica.

I left for work yesterday before pat was awake, so he was still in my bed when I left, and before he left the apartment he wrote a nice note, and downloaded Glass Tiger "don't forget me when I'm gone" and put it on repeat, so it was playing when I got home from work! How nice. I had a little bit of a cry, but then stopped.

I'm really glad Rueben won American Idol.

xo Twyla

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