12:24 a.m. - 2004-04-10

listening to: tortoise - Stretch (you are all right)

quite honestly, I can't figure out what all the whooop over tortoise is. Sorry pals.

turns out I didn't have to work the Rufus Wainwright show after all, but for some fucking fucked up reason, I was like, "yeah - put me on the guest list and I'll go anyhow just to check it out"... a moment of insanity on my behalf! So I met Jill at the Den at around 7pm for beer and pizza, (oh! and whole cloves of garlic for me!)and then Holly came. We had beer, and then went to the show. It looked very promising, because lots of fun people were there (cute Voula, Lawrence, Jeffrey, Kevin etc) but man. HOLY SHIT! does that dude ever S - U - C - K ! i 'm not fucking kidding. I think something is wrong with his health. I don't care that he's gay in the homosexual way, I just think he's fucking gay in the GRADE 4 ("you're so gay!") way. man. that dude is a fruit. So I was like (whisper)"dudes - I'm going to the bathroom" because Jill was totally into it, and Holly was doing a pretty good job of pretending to be, and so I'm walking out, and I get into the hall, and Holly runs out of the doors yelling "DUuuuuuuuuuuduuduDDDE!" like in a "don't you dare leave me" sort of way. So we took our time in the can, and then sat on the bench outside of the show because we couldn't bring ourselves to go back in. We knew Jill was going to be pissed because we left her standing up front alone, but seriously - it was way too hard to go back in. Kevin joined us on the bench, thank god, and then delightful Jeffrey Storey came out too. Jill staggered out a few minutes later with tears in her eyes, ("i'm just really disappointed, you guys!")(not in us, just in rufus' horrid performance!)and we made a group decision: Screw This Dude - Let's Go Watch Hockey And Get A Little Drunker. Kevin fruited out, and went back to watch the show, but delightful Jeffrey Storey came with us. He is so cute. We had this package of stuff that is supposed to numb the boys whoo whoo so that he can eff longer, and jill and I were concerned about what happens when it gets inside the girls um..."hey nonny nonny" as certain creepo boys like to call it, because it would be no good to have a numb crotch, would it? But then Jeffrey was like "no, you guys - I think you put it on the dink and then put a CONDOM over it..." and Jill and I were like "???" as if to say "CONDOM? what the hell is a condom" and then we're like shit, and Jeff was like "i'm still young" and holly said "WE'RE FUN GIRLS!!" and it was pretty funny then, but not so funny now. I wish you were laughing.

Anywhoo. kevin & cassandra came up, and we all left.

OH! the northies were at the Den too, so that was fun. Those Northies are pretty cute. AND THE HOCKEY GAME WAS GREAT! We totally won.

Dear Calgary Flames,

Guess what happens if you win the Stanley Cup this year? I have to get a tattoo on my ass as a promise I made to delightful Jeffrey Storey. The tattoo has to be a word bubble that says: "We Won The Stanley Cup" and underneath it has to quote Jeff... So in a way, I totally hope you don't win, but mostly I really hope you do. I don't know if I'd go through with that tattoo, but if you win, can you imagine the fucking party? go flames, go! Love twyla. (i used to have a wayne gretzky doll)

anywhoo. We went to holly's to do thinks like put on deodorant etc, and then we went to the Drum. Dave A (not the Sam Roberts one) was there, but not much was going on. Then we went for samosas (we each had ahem 3!!!) and holly asked the awesome dude next to her, in a coy voice, "could i dip my naan in your butter chicken" and it was pretty funny. Then what did we do? oh - we staggered off to the Ship, but decided "NO" and went to Ming. Dave A (the Sam Roberts one) was there and so was Liz. I hung my head in shame at the sight of Dave, and offered to buy him beer, but he said "no, just keep it down" ugh! then Holly said "pat's up there with his ugly new girlfriend! want to go look?" and I just sighed and said "no. I don't" because even though I sort of did, it's not a nice thing to do. I'm glad to hear she's not cute though. That secretly is nice. But maybe she's nicer than me? Or smarter? or just better and cooler? that's the worst part. I hate that shit. But what does it really matter? because what's the point of getting all compare-y like that? It only makes people feel bad, and also - dude - even if she is topping me in all those things - she's currently doing the most self-destructive thing she's ever done. Believe you me.

I've always wanted to say that: "believe you me"!

so then I was like "let's get out of here" and we walked home while holly talked about how it's better when an ex gets a less cute girlfriend, but Veronica thinks the opposite. I'm with Holly on that one.

We all came to my place, and fought over MSN where it was Spencer Brown, Glenn, Sheena & Kenny - all on at the same time. holly was pretending to be ME for alot of that, so if you got any weird shit from me, it probably wasn't me.

Then I talked to glenn on the telephone, listened to some phone messages from Craig, saw that it was 2am, kicked Jill & Holly out (it is sooo effing hard to get holly away from the computer!) and went to sleep.

and now I'm going to work. Today should be fun, because Herb is away which means NO SHITTY BLUES OR JAZZ. so awesome.

xo Twyla.

Update: 2:07pm: how come all the fun stuff has to happen when I'm on my way to work. I don't mind being late so much, but sometimes it's just not convenient, like when I have to open up etc. So this morning I'm walking to get some tea before work and I see this rad car, like a total Mercury or some old shitmobile, all smashed up between two poles. Neat. So I had to stop & Look at that for a while, and man. I could not figure out how something like that could happen. Then I went to the tea shop. I like to say "the Tea Shop" but really - guess what? It's just Mac's. How "uncouth", hey? sometimes I even get a hotdog. Can't get more skiddy than that. (ps! i didn't get a hotdog today, but I did get a pack of twinkies. so fantastic!)but so I reach for the handle of the door, and I grab it, and I'm like "sick, dude" it had this weird fabric cover on it. So i just looked at it like "yuck!" and then went in. I was making my tea - dude. so good. and this dude came up: "i saw you notice the door handle - what was your first impression?" and I said "yucky!" and he said "YUCKY?" and I said "yes. Germy." and he said "GERMY?" and I said "Yes. Yucky & Germy" because really - who wants to grab onto some sick shitty material - metal door handles just seem so much more sanitary. Then he wrote down yucky & dirty and I smiled and said "don't be mad! it looks cute?!" and he said "oh... i'm not mad" but he looked pretty mad. Don't get mad at me just because your idea is retarded.Then I got my tea and came to work. There were some people dressed as Giant Easter Bunnies that i wanted to go play with, but couldn't. Damn work. more later! Veronica is here!

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