*cut & paste*
oh my god. How I love working with Core-Upt Mike! Not only is he a delight to look at (one of the top 3 most beautiful boys in the city!)but he LIKES CHEESY HAIR METAL! so great.
last night was awesome. I got off work at 9pm and went to Safeway and picked up the following items:
*one package of fresh mint
*2L of diet Coke
*3 lemons
*one Realime little green squeezy thing of lime juice
then as I was walking to Veronica's house, I stopped to pet the cuuuutest little dog named "Lady Summer"... what a stupid name. Then I stopped at the liquor store and got a bottle of Vanilla Twist Vodka.
I got to Veronica's and her, Holly and Jill were sitting on the couch on the porch. That sounds so classy, hey? We made a whole bunch of drinks and ate spinach and talked about things like the Olsen Twins. Ok ok, only I seemed to be talking about the Olsen Twins. I just don't think it's fair that when Mary-Kate went INTO rehab it was all over the covers of every magazine, and now that she's OUT, it's like, just a tiny square, up in the top right hand side of the cover...
ANYWAY.
We took the karaoke machine out onto the front porch, and Holly kicked things off with a fantastic version of Children's Story by Slick Rick. If you ever want to laugh until you puke/pee/shit/choke etc, just ask Holly to do that song for you. She doesn't even need a karaoke machine, she can just freestyle it. Other karaoke highlights were group efforts to the entire album of The Dudes "This Guy's The Limit", Sue and Jill's Beyonce "Crazy in Love" duet, I did Trooper "Raise A Little Hell" and Veronica did a great version of "Love Fool" by the Cardigans...
Girls Night Front Porch Karaoke Party went on (and on and on and on)until approximately 12:30am when a neighbor (?) shouted out "Shut The FUUUUUCCCCKKKK up!" (or something to that effect) which honestly DID shut us the fuck up, and we all ducked and ran into the house where we sat on the couches and then decided to go to the Drum & Monkey. We were pretty hammered by that time.
The Drum was ok, but nothing crazy. We just sat there and I could have sat there all night and not cared because I had a big piece of paper and a nice pen, so I was content to just sit there and draw stupid things and list out reasons of things for Holly. Devon was there, and man. He's a total dream. His hair was styled a la Billy Talent. *sigh*
We sat around for a bit longer, then i got trapped outside on the sidelines of a chachi fight. Then I walked home by myself at 3am. I was thinking "how nice it is that a young female can walk home alone at 3am, downtown, and not be harrassed". I realize that that is not always the case, but at that particular point in time, it was. So that's why I was thinking, "how nice". and I also realize that at that exact time, I'm sure somewhere in the city a young female was being harrassed, and I feel bad about that, but hey. you know?
And then, as I was passing that high rise apartment building ("Oh! THAT one...")some dude from his balcony yelled down, "Hey - you want Blow Job?" Do I want a blow job? I'M A GIRL! So I looked up, shook my head (no, not yes!)and kept walking. I wondered for a few blocks, "did that fucker think I was a boy?" or "was his english just bad?"
then I thought about polish kids. If I ever have a kid I'd want it to be Polish. Polish kids always seem pretty funny. I guess if I want a Polish kid, my options are this:
*adopt one
or
*find a polish boyfriend and marry him
I'm not polish though, so even if I had a Polish husband, would my kid still be considered polish?
Ideally I would Adopt. the idea of child birth is not appealing to me. the idea of a child that is younger than 6 is not appealing either. I will take one that is toilet trained, thank you. Also, one that can get his own food when he's hungry. And also, what if when you're sleeping your 2 or 3 year old kids wakes up and starts causing shit? I don't like waking up when I don't feel like it yet.
anyway, after the Blow Job Solicitation, I was on the corner of 12th Ave and 8th Street, and sitting on the stairs of the Starbucks was this hammmmmeeerrrred couple. At first I could hear bits of myself in the words the girl was saying ("bahhh! I schlllove schyyoooo!" and "oh, i schhinnnnk you're the bessscccchhht boyfrienssssh in the worlsssch")("bah! I love you" and "Oh, I think you're the best boyfriend in the world!")and I was just thinking "oh, that's cute! drunky couple!" until the dude opens up and belts out "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET YOU HOME AND FUCK YOU HARD OVER AND OVER" and just spewing out vulgarities that made me turn around in shock just to see the face of this guy! As I stood on the corner (waiting for the light to change, not because I'm some sort of pervert!)I could not believe my ears, and the guy was honestly shouting out the sickest words in the world.
Bil said it's cool to have "a dirty streak" in a girlfriend, so I've also been thinking about that lately, as well. I'll elaborate on that some other time.
I can't stop loving you, no matter what you say or do,
twyl.a.
